So there's barely any time left until we leave for Africa. It's really starting to hit me that I'm going to be leaving my life here for awhile, yet I know it's what I need right now too. I'm soo nervous! I have no idea what to expect. I think this is the first time I've actually been scared about the whole situation. I know though that this is definitely what I need in my faith right now.

 Over the last couple of months my faith has just been struggling. It's just such a disappointment because usually I'm so on fire and I feel like I can do anything. I know everyone goes through low points in their faith, but this feels like more than a low point to me. I need to just surrender everything to God and even when it's hard keep pressing on to see his face. Why has that been so hard for me?

I've never felt so weak in my faith. I've heard a million times, just keep trusting in the Lord. I know that's true. I used to be the one saying all of those things. I just can't seem to understand it right now!

I know I'm going to be able to change a lot of lives on this trip, but I also need this trip for myself. I need my heart to be changed. I need to be rejuvenated in my faith. Taken out of this valley and be surrounded by Christian people who are cheering me on in my faith.

I need to trust God.